Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
Friday, March 19, 2010
Jargon Hunting
Canberra is the national headquarters of stakeholder engagement, thought leadership and the run-on sentence. This city is awash with jargon, wherein words such as actionable, facilitate and silo are ceaselessly smashed into phrases like core competencies, value chain and driving innovation, to make even the most mundane task sound weighty with deliverables.
Unfortunately, this habit of loading sentences with empty emphasis has slopped over into every day conversation and is now the ambient noise of television. Here are six of the worst.
Passion
Unless you fight, fuck or breastfeed someone it isn't a passion. It could be an enthusiasm, it might even be a career or the sort of hobby that gets you a spot on Collectors but rarely does it require the dreaded 'P' word.
Paradigm
Is worth approximately 20 cents and if you really need to shift one I will happily put it in my pocket.
At the end of the day
It gets dark and I can go home without listening to any more of this bullshit.
Journey
It's not a journey unless you change your mailing address. Try using process, experience or, in the case of reality television contestants, 'transitory moment of lessened obscurity'.
Upskill
If you use this word it's a fair bet you haven't.
May I just say
Absolutely not. Just because you're in front of a camera, flanked by a journalist and sitting under television lights in no way indicates an interest in your opinion.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Apparently, there was a footy game last night
And what better way to mark the occasion than a bank commercial from the 1980s?
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Thursday, June 18, 2009
The funniest thing Tracy Ullman ever did?
Would it be wrong to suggest that the two week ‘resting’ of The Chaser’s War on Everything and its replacement with Tracey Ullman's State of the Union, confirms that the funniest thing Tracy Ullman ever did for television was commissioning The Simpsons shorts back in 1987?Tags:
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Duthie first casualty of war on everything (Ver 2)
The ABC's Amanda Duthie has been removed from her position as head of TV comedy because of the controversy surrounding The Chaser's Make a Realistic Wish sketch. The announcement was made by the Corporation's always reasonable managing director Mark Scott. Report is here. Duthie will continue to be responsible for arts and entertainment programs.
I made a comment at the ABC news site, in my best non-Angry of Mayfair* voice, querying why, given the program's history of offending the permanently sensitive, head of content Courtney Gibson hadn't run the rule over the episode (or for that matter Kim Dalton, but I'm guessing he had his hands full, automating another newsroom or outsourcing ABC editorial to Pagemasters or some such).
...At which point, after bashing out those hastily arranged electrons, I left this post yesterday . Couple of more things that I didn't originally make clear. Given my views on the skit and the complaints about it, the fact someone needs to be found responsible and punished seems vaguely ludicrous. However, changing Duthie's job title is not so much a punishment but a fairly shallow attempt at being seen to do something. I suspect it has less to do with the public outcry and more to do with boardroom pressure. Dicking with Duthie's job title is also a bad move because it sets a precedent.
Last year Duthie and Gibson were interviewed by Greg Callaghan of The Australian for an article entitled The Power of Two. Towards the end of the article Callaghan quoted Gibson:
Does it bother Gibson and Duthie when popular shows such as Kath & Kim – shows that have been carefully nurtured by the ABC – sell out to the commercial networks? Or scare them when rumours fly, as they did last year, about The Chaser meeting Seven Network brass? “We were probably ready to let Kath & Kim go,” Gibson concedes. “I would be very sorry to lose The Chaser, as it would almost certainly mean they would have to make creative compromises to fit in with the rules of a commercial network.”
It seems to fit in with the ABC there are now similar creative compromises to be made. And I'm just foolish enough to think this is not such a good thing.
*although I did end with the line that Gibson, Dalton and Scott seem to have mastered the first and most important rule of management: 'cover your arse'. Will try better next time.
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Friday, June 5, 2009
Making a realistic wish about The Chaser
I watched The Chaser’s War on Everything on Wednesday night and found the skit on the Make a Realistic Wish Foundation funny.
The line “they're only going to die anyway” cracked me up.
Obviously, many other people don’t share this view. They are entitled to this opinion, as I am to mine.
Mind you, a couple of points do occur.
If a comedy show you intend to watch has a classification warning at the start, then there’s a chance it may contain material that you will find offensive.
If the comedy show you intend to watch has a solid, well-known reputation for bad taste and black comedy, then the chances of you being offended goes up accordingly.
If the comedy show you intend to watch is called The Chaser’s War on Everything don’t be too surprised if it has a go at... everything.
And if a child of mine had a terminal or life threatening illness, I’m guessing there might be other things to do, rather than taking such bitter offense about a one minute TV segment that the combined reaction of thousands of viewers having a hissy fit becomes a media circus and prolongs that same offense over the course of several days.
Finally, as to the idea that some topics are just too serious, too sensitive or too important, and therefore must never be used as the basis for comedy, I’ll hand over to PJ O’Rourke (who admittedly was writing in the mid-eighties about the left versus right but it does go to a certain mindset on humour).
He explains in the intro to Republican Party Reptile that some people, for example those who are deeply concerned about sexism in language or fear the government is hiding nuclear waste in their fridge, can’t be expected to have a sense of humour.
And they don’t. Radicals and liberals and such want all jokes to have a “meaning,” to “make a point”. But laughter is involuntary and points are not. A conservative may tell you that you shouldn’t make fun of something. “You shouldn’t make fun of cripples,” he may say. And he may be right. But a liberal will tell you, “You can’t make fun of cripples.” And he’s wrong - as anybody who’s heard the one about Helen Keller falling into a well and breaking three fingers calling for help can tell you.”
To quote another funny man, who spent time in the comedy bad taste trenches, "Oh, you're going straight to hell for that one."
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Friday, May 22, 2009
Broad minds and bar mat mums
Annice Smoel appeared on television last night recounting the terror of the last few weeks and bearing troubling news. People in different countries are… well… they’re different.
It was really scary. I couldn’t understand anything anyone was saying to me. They were all speaking Thai. No one spoke English.
Annice was in Thailand at the time
The police officers handed me documents that were all in Thai. At first I refused to sign. In the end I had to sign a lot of documentation that was written in Thai.
Apparently, Thailand has its own written language and police force.
I asked him [Wichai Praisa-nob, Governor of Phuket] if he could guarantee me that I wouldn’t go to jail and he said yes, but I was very distrusting of the system over there so I was still really scared they might slap the cuffs on and put me in there [jail].
As well as an independent government and a penal system.
But I just had to trust him or Australia, or you guys or someone would kick up a fuss if I ended up in jail and get me out.
Of course, they’re foreigners and I know they do this sort of thing all the time.
While the 36 year-old seemed to struggle with the notion that international travel might require some compliance with local laws and customs, she did remember the Tooter Turtle option – admit nothing, blame others and when the night goes tits up yell “Help me Mr Wizard!” good and loud.
And if you don’t know a wizard then four photogenic daughters, a complacent mainstream media and politicians keen to talk about something other than the budget will do just as well.
The good news for the people of Thailand is Annice doesn’t plan on returning
No, I'll never go back. It was by far the worst experience I've ever been through.
Some of us felt a little like that and our only mistake was watching the telly.
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Lessons from Eurovision (and the Hobart Mercury)
Last weekend the annual wardrobe malfunction that is the Eurovision Song Contest provided a question and an unintended insight. The question was obvious - why did SBS bother sending Julia Zemiro overseas so she could be unfunny in Moscow when Thank God You're Here has proven conclusively she could be just as unfunny in a Melbourne studio - meanwhile, as the ebb and flow of performers washed across the stage, I started to understand why Tina Arena is popular in France.
There doesn’t appear to be a great deal of competition.
Even weirdly compelling also-rans Marko Kon & Milaan or Sinéad Mulvey & Black Daisy didn’t have the sort of die-in-a-ditch-to-sell-this-shit stagecraft that a few years in the Johnny Young talent gulag imparts. Of course, at 32, Arena was a mere baby when she picked up stumps and moved to Paris.
I know this thanks to Damien Brown who, in Saturday's Hobart Mercury, memorably described Libbi Gore as a, “44-year-old wildchild, also known for her alter-ego Elle McFeast who hosted a sports-comedy program 20 years ago”. I’m assuming Damien is either (a) immensely elderly or (b) a 12-year-old who likes the phrase ‘wild child’ because it rhymes. To be fair he could’ve gone with “erstwhile slightly amusing comedian, now an attention deficient media tart, who used to tout for Jenny Craig” and still hit the sweet spot in terms of accuracy.
Two further factoids floated to the surface. While bogans are regularly pilloried for their use of creative spelling when naming their offspring, the chattering class can be just as naff. Case in point, the fruit of Libbi’s loins goes by the unlikely moniker of Ché Rodin Gorr Burchmore*.
Equally surprising, these days Gorr can be heard on ABC radio Hobart. I wonder if she’s managed to sign Tim Cox up for some Jenny Craig replacement shake goodness.
*Possibly named in honour of that other
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Thursday, May 7, 2009
Hello Mr Johnson (hic)
I'm on record as being a fan of Karl Stefanovic's subtle presentation style on the Today Show so, when accusations were made that the consummate professional was tired and emotional after the Logies on Monday morning, I was incredulous.
Now however, not so much...the old trouper weaving his spell. Lisa Wilkinson handled the situation with aplomb but I couldn't help thinking of another screen pairing from long ago.
tired and emotionalSaturday, May 2, 2009
(O') Rourke takes Bishop
And in the better late than never category. One of the issues tackled on the ABC's Q&A programme a couple of weeks back (23/04/09) was the treatment of asylum seekers.
In a robust, off the cuff spray David Marr produced one of those rare television moments that stops you mid-coffee plunge and almost lets you forgive an industry that continues to give Meshel Laurie airtime.
Audience member Joe Duncan enquired:
With the latest boat of asylum seekers arriving, there's been a lot of talk about protecting our borders. Shouldn't Australia also have a moral obligation to protect people fleeing corrupt regimes and how do we create a balanced solution with persecuting the individuals involved and stigmatising their plight?
Craig Emerson got first shot and duly repeated Joe’s points, agreed with him and added nothing of substance, at which point skipper Tony Jones tossed the pill to Marr who tucked it under his arm and ran the length of the field with this effort:
DAVID MARR: We have more than a moral obligation, we have actually entered treaty obligations to these people and that treaty - the UN Refugee Convention is an act of apology by the civilised world to the Jewish people for doors having been closed in their faces in the late 1930s that led to the slaughter of millions of Jews in the Holocaust. There is history to the Refugee Convention. It is an act of apology and it is also an instrument to make sure that such a thing does not happen again. And we have an international legal obligation to take, however they come to our borders, to take in and assess the claims of people who are seeking protection. Now, that is our obligation. We have another obligation, as well, which is an older obligation in law, which is not to force people back to a country where their lives might be at risk. They are our two obligations. They are moral, but they are also legal obligations. And it is sad to hear the opposition trying to get up a good scare about boat people again because I had thought, and I think many people had thought, that their fingers were burnt with this the last time around. We haven't, Craig, been talking about this for 10 days. We have been talking about this for 10 years and one of the things we discovered in those 10 years was that temporary protection visas, which violate the fundamental notion that if a person is a refugee you offer them a permanent home, temporary protection visas, by forbidding family reunion, as they did under the Howard government, filled the boats with women and children and that when the SIEV X went down, many who drowned on the SIEV X were children and women seeking to join their husbands and fathers in Australia who were refugees and yet they are once again...
TONY JONES: Okay, David.
DAVID MARR: ...talking about restoring these evil visas.
Now, there are those who confuse commentary with reporting and regard Marr as a whingeing, latte sipping lefty, whose bias is clear and who, rumour has it, doesn’t even like sheilas. 'Balance' is their preferred slogan in these situations and so, in the interest of balance, let's move rightwards.
Also on the panel was Pat O’Rourke, one of America's funniest writers and an acerbic right-wing commentator who started his career at National Lampoon (hence the justification for running my favourite magazine cover with this post). Jonsey did the right thing and, after a shoulder tap from O’Rourke, waved him on to the field where it looked like he might give Marr a quick and dirty introduction to gridiron.
The result was somewhat unexpected, particularly for fellow panel member Julie Bishop who had just botched an unconvincing cover tackle on Marr.
PJ O'ROURKE: You know, we in the States have much, much more experience with being all wrong about immigration than you do.…. And we are so wrong about it. I mean, build a fence on the border with Mexico, give a huge boost to the Mexican ladder industry, you know. Put US troops on the Rio Grande and know that the United States armed forces are standing between me and yard care, you know. I mean, it's just - the thing is when somebody gets on an exploding boat to come over here, they're willing to do that to get to Australia, you're missing out on some really good Australians if you don't let that person in.
Julie took a run at it but her lack of match fitness was evident.
JULIE BISHOP: (Indistinct) people smuggling (indistinct).
It meant an easy complete for the visitor
PJ O'ROURKE: ...the reason America is a great nation is because of immigration. Let them in. Let them in. These people are assets. You know, one or two of them might not be, but you can sort them out later.
Of course I’ve left a great deal out, and to really get a feel for Bishop’s twitchy, almost to the point of Tourette’s, ejaculatory style of discussion you need to go to the Q&A website.
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Friday, March 13, 2009
Don, Karl, Neil and the Underbelly
Overheard from a Channel Nine Sydney sports report:
...the 20-year-old drawing comparisons with the incomparable Don Bradman.
Really? So is the Don incomparable or is Phil Hughes that good?
Of course the Nine Network often provides viewers with short jolts of non-comprehension mixed with delicate slabs of unintentional humour. On Friday morning those two stalwarts of Queensland journalism (yes, that would be Karl Stefanovic and Neil Breen) turned their finely honed analytical skills to Kiwi criticism of Matthew Newton's accent in Underbelly 2.
Breen's considered opinion? New Zealanders are touchy whingers who just liked to take offence. Kind of like those hillbilly rednecks up north, eh Neil? That's the trouble with lazy cliches masquerading as content, they can resemble double-sided sticky tape.
Next up the editor of the Sunday Telegraph (yes, again that would be Neil Breen, who replaced former editor Jeni O'Dowd several years ago when shocked News Limited senior management discovered she didn't have a penis*) took on the notion that Underbelly somehow glorified criminal behaviour.
From the Breen perspective, this was a bit of a beat up by some old journo who covered the orginal story back in the day. Well Pat Booth, the journo referred to, did point out in some detail what a waste of space Terry Clark was in this article, he also wrote the first book on the Mr Asia gang, and Clark apparently wanted him dead because of his work on the story.
So how an old pro like Booth managed to confuse over 13 hours of prime time television, heavily promoted by in-house promos, media interviews and profiles, intensive advertising and the release of a soundtrack as glorification is hard to imagine.
Just as it's hard to imagine Neil and Karl ever voicing an opinion that isn't absolutely predictable.
*Admittedly a cheap jibe at News Ltd, O'Dowd was actually moved on because she had a vagina.
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